notarrowette | Bart's Back!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Location: Room 415, Elias

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Bart's Back!

[RP with sofasterthanyou]

Cissie dragged just about every snack food she had out of the cupboard before turning to the mini-fridge. She was going to need to go shopping tomorrow but she didn't care at all. She checked her cell phone again after sticking some nachos in the microwave--nothing from Tim yet. She was dying to tell him about Bart, but she knew he was working and she didn't want to risk interrupting, particularly since he'd warned her that he would be out of touch for a while.

While the microwave worked its magic, she went back to her computer and laughed at Bart's latest message before sending one in return: "So--are you coming over?"

Cissie sat back in her chair and chewed on her lip while she waited.

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Cissie gave a light laugh that was only a little shaky. "Bart, really--trust me on that. Nobody's going to be anything but thrilled that you're back."

Bart shook his head, wiping a hand down his face as if he could erase his expression with it. "Of course they are. I'm just being ridiculous." His laugh mirrored Cissie's in questionable stability. "Just ignore little old me."

Cissie's back was beginning to hurt from the way she was slouched over, so she shifted, moving to sit up. They were about eye level now and she leaned her head against the mattress to smile at him fondly. "Hate to tell you, but that's not going to happen. Now that we know you're back, you're probably not going to have a moment's peace--not in real time, anyway."

Bart let go of his grip on Cissie, letting his arms fall, one still loosely looped around her waist. He nudged her shoulder with his, letting a small smile form on his face. "Well, that's good." He chuckled. "I'm going to resent this little piece of melodrama soon, aren't I? Everyone's going to be constantly asking me if I'm okay."

"Maybe a little," she said with a small smile. "You might have to be patient with us--we're probably going to be a little overprotective for a while."

Bart breathed a laugh out his nose. "Understandable, I suppose. Even so, let's keep this our little secret, yeah?" He tilted his head just enough so that he could see Cissie out of the corner of his eye, smiling conspiratorially.

Cissie smiled back at him, smirking a little. "I don't know; I'm not very good at keeping secrets," she teased. A bit more seriously, she added, "Or, you know--Tim's got some kind of secret-detecting radar."

"Well, in that case..." Bart grinned. "You gotta pinky-swear." He held out his hand, his littlest finger crooked, and waited expectantly for Cissie to link fingers with him. "A pinky swear is binding. Even Tim can't manage to see past the shield of a pinky swear." The words came almost automatically to him now, after spending so many frustrating hours trying to get his sons to talk to him. Conner would always refuse to say anything because Tim could 'read' secrets. Bart finally remembered something about pinky swears from a book he had read once, and that had managed to end that strange habit.

Cissie laughed and bumped shoulders with him. "First of all, I think you're underestimating Tim," she said with a wink. "And secondly, you're asking me to pinkie-swear to lie to my boyfriend. I'm not sure that's the best relationship advice."

Bart kept his hand where it was. "C'mon, kid, swear!" He laughed. "Also, I'm not asking you to lie to your boyfriend, just don't tell him! Tell him whatever else you want. Tell him my hair's getting too long and I really need to get it cut." He arched an eyebrow, a skill he got much better at over the past thirty years. "It's not lying if you just don't say anything. And when have I been known for giving good advice? I'm terrible at advice!"

Cissie laughed and ruffled Bart's hair again. "If you cut your hair, it won't be nearly as much fun to do this. And honestly, I can't promise not to talk to Tim, since--I pretty much tell him everything these days," she said in a rush. "But I do promise to leave your dignity in tact." She hesitated a moment and then gave him a sheepish smile.

"In the spirit of honesty--I'm a little worried about you, but I'm also stuck on being happy that you're alive and back. So I'm not pushing and I'm focusing on the happy, rather than the worry," she admitted. "And it might take me some time to get used to you being... older. Because the Big Sister mentality is really hard to switch off."

Bart chuckled, leaning his head towards her to make messing up his hair easier. "Yeah, it's okay. He's pretty much stupidly head-over-heels for you too. It's cute." It was cute, and it made him feel a little empty inside, but he didn't mention that. It wasn't Cissie's fault that she could manage a successful relationship while he couldn't. "Well, thanks anyway," he added, returning her smile.

Bart sighed, looking away from where Cissie was watching him worriedly. "I'll tell you about it sometime, Ciss, I promise. Just... not right now, okay?" He blinked a few times in rapid succession, just in case he had gotten a little 'dust' in his eyes. "I nearly broke down on Kon, I don't think I can handle doing it again so soon. It's hard to get used to for me too. And don't worry about it," he added, chuckling softly. "I like it. Being fussed over." It was nice, after so long of being the one doing the fussing.

Cissie played with Bart's hair a little more to give herself a chance to stop blushing. She was relieved that Bart seemed to be okay about her and Tim--she hadn't really known what he would think. She didn't want to tell him that after he died, she and Tim had needed each other. "Anita says we're disgusting," she admitted shyly.

She stopped messing with his hair when he looked away and stroked it instead, smoothing her hand over his head gently. "I'm glad you like it," she said. She hesitated a little, not sure how Bart would take what she wanted to say--she'd never really told him this, and she wasn't sure if she should, but--she had learned a few things about saying things before it's too late. "Because--you're the closest thing I've got to a brother, Bart. And I've missed fussing over you." She managed a small smile. "Tim gets frustrated when I do it to him, and then he starts in on me and it's not at all the same. I'll be good--I'll wait until you're ready to tell me. Just say the word, okay?"

Bart snorted slightly. "Yeah, Tim is apparently prone to gushing. It's almost embarrassing." Of course, he couldn't say this without a smile forming on his face, but that was the whole point. He didn't mind that his friends were happy. He was pleased, in fact.

Scooting down so he could rest his head against Cissie's shoulder, Bart sighed, wrapping his arm more tightly around her waist. "I'm... Thanks, Ciss. That means a lot." Even if he was mentally thirty years older than her, the sentiment remained the same. "You'd be a great older sister." He sighed. "I promise I won't make you wait too long."

Cissie smiled sheepishly--maybe Tim's behavior was a little embarrassing, but it was really nice to hear about, especially given her recent raging insecurities. It seemed like every time Tim managed to reassure her, Stephanie came along and made some snide, backhanded comment to her or to her friends. Cissie knew herself well enough to know that she was not exactly rational where Tim's ex-girlfriend was concerned.

None of this was worth getting into right now, though. Not when Bart so obviously needed a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her cheek against the top of his head. "Whenever you're ready, Bart," she said again, rubbing small circles over his back. "I can wait. I'm just--so glad you're back." She just wanted him to be okay.

Bart snuggled unconsciously deeper into Cissie's side, closing his eyes. "I don't want to depress you," he muttered softly. "You're finally so happy... with Tim, and the rest of your life, I don't want to bring you down with my melodrama." He sighed, pushing back slightly against Cissie's hand on his back. "I want you to be happy." He could deal with crushing depression, it's not like he didn't have to before, but seeing his friends sad? Not something he wanted to see. Ever.

"Oh, Bart," she murmured, pressing her face into his hair. "I want you to be happy too."

Bart whuffled an embarrassed laugh, thick with unshed tears--much to his shagrin. "I'd ask you not to tell Tim about me acting like a little girl, but you've pretty much negated that option, haven't you?" He squeezed her waist lightly to show he was joking as he sniffed as inconspicuously as possible.

She hugged him closer and continued rubbing his back. "You're not acting like a little girl, and I won't tell Tim if you don't want me to," she told him. If Tim asked, she knew she wouldn't lie to him, but she hated hearing Bart so upset. "We love you and we've missed you--we don't want you to be unhappy."

Bart smiled softly. "I know, Ciss. I just--I don't want things to change between us. The way we used to be. And the most scary thing is..." He trailed off and had to clear his throat, shaking his head. "The scary thing is that I can hardly remember how that was." He shivered involuntarily, pressing even closer to Cissie's warm body.

Cissie didn't answer at first, holding him close and hiding her face in his mop of hair. After a quiet moment, she started talking. It was hard to say out loud. "I think... I think we've all been through too much, for things not to change. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing," she added quickly. "It just means... we're all a little more grown up." He couldn't see, but she smiled sadly into his hair. "Maybe it means we appreciate each other a little more this time around."

Bart sighed, awkwardly twisting his arm to pet her bicep. "Yeah, you're probably right. It's for the best." He tried to sound decisive, but was sure he only managed 'hesitant' at best. After a beat, he swallowed hard. "I'm scared, Ciss," he admitted in a small voice. "I missed you guys so much that I didn't even really think the whole leaving thing through. What if I made the wrong decision? Don't get me wrong," he added quickly, "I'm thrilled that I'm back and that we're all here, but... I've left so much behind. Maybe too much. I don't know if I'm going to be able to function in this universe anymore. I don't think I know how..."

"Bart..." Cissie whispered. She tightened her arms around him without thinking, as if doing so would hold him there. "What... did you leave behind?"

Bart sat silently for a few minutes, trying to gather his thoughts into some semblance of order while using Cissie's warm bulk and strong arms to keep him grounded. After a while, he cleared his throat. "It took me years after I was sent to the Speed Force to realize that I was chasing something unattainable," he began. "People rarely ever manage to leave, and when they do, it's only when someone else dies and joins us. Eventually I gave up." He sighed. "I was a wreck, Ciss. I didn't eat, I barely slept, I was too depressed to even shower or make any kind of effort to support myself. I spent a long time sponging off Max." He made a face, even though Cissie couldn't see it.

"After about ten years, I met this woman, Shannon. She was nice... reminded me a lot of Kon. Stubborn, beautiful, more caring than she'd like to admit. She had some of Tim's methodicalness, your caring. It was almost more than I could stand, being around her. But, you know. She was the closest thing I had to you guys. We got married two years later, and another three after that, we had twins. Boys." He smiled fondly. "Tim and Conner. Shannon wouldn't agree to Kon. She said it was a stupid name, and none of her children would be called that." Honestly, Bart thought it was because she knew that he was more than a little bit in love with Kon, and that was just too much for her to handle.

"I wasn't the best father to them, but I tried. And even though Shannon and I weren't all that compatible in the end, I still love--loved--my family. And now..." He swallowed hard. "Now I'll never see them again." He turned, pressing his face into Cissie's neck. "Oh, Ciss," he wailed, clutching at her as he finally allowed the tears that had been threatening him almost all evening to fall. "What have I done?"

"Shhh," Cissie murmured, soothing him as best she could. She held him close and stroked his hair, closing her eyes against her own tears--she ached for him. "Oh, Bart, shh. It's okay."

She held him for a while, letting him cry, before she spoke quietly. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you were so unhappy--but I'm glad you had a family. And... I'm sorry you had to leave them. But--oh, Bart." She swallowed and thought for a moment before speaking again.

"When you were gone--when we thought you were dead--we still loved you, just as much as when you were here. And we knew you loved us. We never doubted that. Your family," it was hard not to trip over that--not to be sad that they had missed out on so much, that Bart had a whole life without them, "they love you. And they know you love them. I'm sure you were a wonderful father, Bart."

She kissed the top of his head, taking a moment to find the right words. "You'll see them again," she said softly, as hard as it was to vocalize. "They're still there, in the Speed Force, right? That's--you'll see them some day."

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