Her first response was to dismiss the question, but Cassie hardly ever speaks her first response aloud. Not when it comes to this type of topic. In the middle of a battle, sure. She looks, sees, thinks, directs and all in that split second that makes the difference between a win and a loss. But about herself, her feelings, her wants, needs and desires...most of that is bottled up and examined thoroughly before anything is said or done. When it is not she ends up acting on feelings she should have buried, one way or another.
Her first response was to dismiss the question, but Cassie knew Cissie wouldn't like or accept that. "It would be better for me, too. I don't want to be angry with Kon because he loves me too much. I don't want to feel like a constant disappointment." She got enough of that in her non-romantic life. Speaking of which, "I'd be a better leader" Wow, she actually said leader. "if my attentions weren't divided."
It would be better for everyone except Cassie and admittedly Tim. Cassie and Tim, Tim and Cassie. Feelings they should have buried or swallowed or convinced themselves they didn't need. I would do anything for you, he'd said and she felt the same. Anything for each other, even not be together. But it was Tim she had stayed for. Kon she still thought she was hurting as much as she (and Tim) did honestly and genuinely and deeply love him. He was their Arthur and he would always be the best of them.
"But it's a moot point anyway. Kon doesn't" understand "agree and Tim...we didn't break up." Despite her best efforts. Well, not entirely her best. But close.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2009-05-13 03:54 pm (UTC)Her first response was to dismiss the question, but Cassie knew Cissie wouldn't like or accept that. "It would be better for me, too. I don't want to be angry with Kon because he loves me too much. I don't want to feel like a constant disappointment." She got enough of that in her non-romantic life. Speaking of which, "I'd be a better leader" Wow, she actually said leader. "if my attentions weren't divided."
It would be better for everyone except Cassie and admittedly Tim. Cassie and Tim, Tim and Cassie. Feelings they should have buried or swallowed or convinced themselves they didn't need. I would do anything for you, he'd said and she felt the same. Anything for each other, even not be together. But it was Tim she had stayed for. Kon she still thought she was hurting as much as she (and Tim) did honestly and genuinely and deeply love him. He was their Arthur and he would always be the best of them.
"But it's a moot point anyway. Kon doesn't" understand "agree and Tim...we didn't break up." Despite her best efforts. Well, not entirely her best. But close.