A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. [SWS]

[notarrowette]

[RP with butimwondergirl]

Cissie wasn't kidding when she told Cassie that she had lost her living room somewhere under all the camping supplies. She had lists--somewhere--of everything she'd bought and what it was all for, but at the moment she didn't care so much about all of that. At the moment she just wanted to get everything out of the store packaging and into the duffle bags and plastic containers so it would all fit in the van. She hoped it would all fit in the van.

She had asked Cassie to come by to help. While she certainly appreciated the help, she knew she could also have asked Bart, or managed on her own. But she wanted to spend a little time with Cassie, and to talk to her about what had happened over the weekend, especially the part where Bart told her Cassie had broken up with Tim and Kon to sacrifice her own happiness for everyone else's.

Comments

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie squeezed Cassie's hands and then let go, reaching out to pull her into a hug instead. "But what about you, Cass?"

[butimwondergirl.livejournal.com]

Her first response was to dismiss the question, but Cassie hardly ever speaks her first response aloud. Not when it comes to this type of topic. In the middle of a battle, sure. She looks, sees, thinks, directs and all in that split second that makes the difference between a win and a loss. But about herself, her feelings, her wants, needs and desires...most of that is bottled up and examined thoroughly before anything is said or done. When it is not she ends up acting on feelings she should have buried, one way or another.

Her first response was to dismiss the question, but Cassie knew Cissie wouldn't like or accept that. "It would be better for me, too. I don't want to be angry with Kon because he loves me too much. I don't want to feel like a constant disappointment." She got enough of that in her non-romantic life. Speaking of which, "I'd be a better leader" Wow, she actually said leader. "if my attentions weren't divided."

It would be better for everyone except Cassie and admittedly Tim. Cassie and Tim, Tim and Cassie. Feelings they should have buried or swallowed or convinced themselves they didn't need. I would do anything for you, he'd said and she felt the same. Anything for each other, even not be together. But it was Tim she had stayed for. Kon she still thought she was hurting as much as she (and Tim) did honestly and genuinely and deeply love him. He was their Arthur and he would always be the best of them.

"But it's a moot point anyway. Kon doesn't" understand "agree and Tim...we didn't break up." Despite her best efforts. Well, not entirely her best. But close.

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie hugged her tighter, listening and knowing that there was much more that Cassie just wasn't saying. She just wasn't sure how to make her say it. She pulled back so she could look at her, still holding onto Cassie's hands--she wasn't going to let her escape this conversation if she could help it. She tilted her head, looking at her carefully and trying to figure out how to stop Cassie from thinking in terms of put-everyone-else-first. "Cassie. Do you want to break up with them? Not because you think you should, or it would be better for anyone. For you. Would it be better for you? Would you be happier?"

[butimwondergirl.livejournal.com]

Annoyingly, Cassie felt tears threatening. "I don't think..." GAH. It is a yes or no question, you silly girl. Or rather, questions. She took a breath and forced the tears away. "No. I don't know, maybe. I don't...no."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Cass." Cissie pulled her into another hug. "You love them. You would all be miserable if you broke up."

[butimwondergirl.livejournal.com]

"Not always." Her voice was...wistful. But not really for a time when they might be broken up and not miserable. It was something else. When Cassie imagined that future she imagined Kon with someone deserving. No one in particular but Kon had so very much to give. She never imagined him alone.

She pulled back and shook her head. "I wish love was enough, Cissie." Cassie tried to turn her attention back to packing.

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Right. Like Cissie's going to let her get away with that. She stopped her, grabbing her lightly by the elbows. "Why isn't it?"