Hard truths

[notarrowette]

[RP with mrsarcastic003, sometime after the talk with Tim and subsequent argument with Dick.]

After Bart left, Cissie trudged up the stairs to the apartment. She let herself in and kicked off her shoes. She had probably over-reacted, storming out like that, but she had just been so frustrated. With Tim, with Dick. With herself. And if she was honest, more than a little scared and hurt that Tim was apparently keeping something so important from her. Something Dick--who Tim was barely on speaking terms with--knew about. And judging from Tim's reactions, it wasn't something he wanted her to know.

The walk with Bart had helped, though. She was much calmer and less likely to start screaming--or crying--as soon as she saw Tim. In fact, when she had made her way through the apartment and found him waiting for her in the bedroom, all she really wanted was a hug. She leaned against the doorframe and said softly, "Hi."

Comments

[mrsarcastic003]

Tim lifted his head when Cissie came back in. Kon had left a few minutes ago, giving him a little bit of time to try to figure out what to say. He'd behaved badly. He knew it. But Dick's high-handed attitude toward his life had just set him off. He gave her a small smile as she paused in the doorway. "Hey."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie returned his smile with a small, slightly hesitant one of her own and crossed the room. She climbed up on the bed and sat next to him, against the headboard. She had about a million questions, but all she could think of to say right now was a quiet "I'm sorry."

[mrsarcastic003]

He pulled her into his arms, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "Me too. I... didn't react well earlier."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie hugged him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "No," she agreed. "But--I was pretty mad at Dick too." She was quiet for a minute, then asked quietly, "You were--are--going to tell me, right?"

[mrsarcastic003]

"Yes, I was. I was just... hoping to find a good moment for it." He grimaced a little, even as he held her more tightly. "I... don't think you're going to like what I have to say."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

She sighed quietly and relaxed a little, but gripped his shirt tightly in her fist. "I kind of gathered that much," she said dryly. "You don't usually avoid as much as you were unless there's something you don't want to tell me."

[mrsarcastic003]

He let out a quiet laugh. "I... guess that's true. I do love you, Cissie, and I want to tell you. I'm just not really sure how you're going to react."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

She was quiet, just leaning against him. "Well. I think... it can't be anything good. If it were good, you'd tell me. And you wouldn't be so concerned about how I'm going to react." She glanced up at him. "Usually when you're worried about that, you think I'll be angry. I was angry earlier, but now I'm--more worried. What's going on, Tim?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He sighed and pulled back to look at her. "Someone offered to help me, while I'm looking for Bruce." He hesitated a moment, but he'd already made his decision. She should know. "It's Ra's. Ra's al Ghul. I'm..." he swallowed. "I decided to take him up on his offer."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

The color drained from her face and she stiffened, staring at him. "You... what? Ra's al Ghul? As in--as in Ra's al Ghul?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He watched her anxiously. "As far as I know, there's only one, so... yeah."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

"Tim--he tried to kill you! He tried to steal your body!"

[mrsarcastic003]

"I know! That's not going to happen, though. He's not after me."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

"How do you know?" Cissie frowned deeply and wrapped her arms around her middle, sitting stiffly. "What is he after? Why does he want to help you?"

[mrsarcastic003]

Tim let out a sigh, frowning at a point over her shoulder. "He wants Bruce. I think... I think it's part of his thing--Ra's wants to actually be able to beat him, and if he's gone, then he can't anymore. So, he sees me--the lunatic ex-Robin who thinks Bruce is still alive--and decides to help, because--if there's a chance..." He shrugged a little. "It's just a hypothesis."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

"You're not a lunatic," she said softly. She took a deep breath. "But Tim... are you sure this is a good idea?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He gave a short, humorless laugh. "No, I'm not. And the day I become 'sure' about a plan involving me working with Ra's al Ghul is the day you should call Dick and have him lock me up, because I really will be crazy then."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie reached over and took one of his hands in hers, frowning down at it. She was quiet for a long moment. "Why did you decide to do it? And how do you know he's not going to just--feed you false information or something?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand. "I'm hoping that he'll be able to give me information that I wouldn't otherwise have access to. And--" he opened his eyes again to look at her. "I don't know that he won't double-cross me. I always, always have to be careful about how much trust I'm willing to put in the information he feeds me."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie met his gaze, looking back at him for a moment, then moved, climbing into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and held on. "You're right," she muttered. Her voice was muffled by his shoulder. "I don't like it."

[mrsarcastic003]

He held her tightly against him and kissed her hair. "I don't really like it either."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

She sighed. "You've already made your mind up about this, haven't you?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He kissed her again. "Yeah, I have. For the time being, I'm going to sick it out."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie leaned her forehead against his and frowned. "Do you have to?"

[mrsarcastic003]

He ran his fingers gently through her hair, letting the smooth strands slide between his fingers. He pulled back slightly to look at her. "Yeah," he said quietly, looking at her and willing her to understand. "I have to try."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

She looked at him, meeting his eyes. "This is really the only way? I mean--damn it." She pinched the bridge of her nose, frowning. "It's probably not an option to say no now that he's offered, even if you wanted to. Right?"

[mrsarcastic003]

"...As far as I know, I can walk away anytime," Tim said, frowning a little. "I'm just... not ready to. If there's any way he can help me find Bruce, it will be worth it."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie laced her fingers with his and looked down at their hands. "Will you promise to ask for help if you need it?"

[mrsarcastic003]

"I promise," he said seriously, tightening his fingers around hers. "I'll be careful."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

Cissie was quiet for a while, looking at their hands and processing everything. "Good." She squeezed his hand again. "And--thank you. For telling me."

[mrsarcastic003]

"I was going to tell you," he said, giving her a serious look. "Dick... interceding the way he did didn't change that. I just wanted to find a way to explain in my own way."

[cisskabob.livejournal.com]

"I know." Cissie leaned forward and hugged him tightly, hiding her face against his shoulder. "I trust you, Tim. I knew you were going to tell me."